Let Be in order to let go
““Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.””
The concept of letting go, which in Yoga is known as aparigraha (non-attachment), is in the forefront of my mind at the moment. I am a self confessed control freak and used control to help me cope and get on in life since my youth. I am learning new ways now to release control and have, for some time, been working with a non-attachment practice. However, I kept coming back to the realisation that I was even applying my controlling nature to my task of letting go. I easily become frustrated at my perceived inability to let go and then try to force myself or force outcomes which look like a letting go process.
Now, instead, I am looking at the idea of letting be which began to come to me following a Vipassana practice. Staying with a sensation in the body and letting it be. This involves watching it instead of reacting to it. Take an emotion like irritation or anger for example. Trying to force myself to let go of anger might actually be unhealthy and result in denial of my reality and ultimately ineffective action or change. I am trying to let it be what it is and watch its manifestation as sensation in my body. When my mind starts to tell a story about my irritation I bring my mind back to the breath or the sensation in the body. The mind wants to fuel the emotion with stories, future projections and memories. This results in clinging and/or aversion. We can direct the mind away from thinking and direct the mind to the task of focusing on breath or sensation instead. This takes practice. Watching the sensations wave through the breath and body (and sometimes letting out an almighty scream, which might be an effective action) allows the emotion to pass through. I remain the watcher, become less reactive in a way that is hurtful to myself/others and I am also not trying to force a process of letting go. Letting the sensation of the emotion be what it is ultimately results in an experience in letting go. In conclusion I understand now that letting go requires no effort. By remaining with the reality of the present moment we end up letting go. Let be in order to let go.
I’ve taken to screaming when I’m alone in the car :) Its exhilarating. Try it. We’re human!
