solitude
“Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.” Albert Einstein
Practicing yoga helps a person to venture inwards and quiets the mind in order to connect with the self behind ego. Asanas are one way to do this. Breath work or pranayama another. Patanjali taught that there are many routes to the state of Samadhi, and a person needs to find the way that works for them. Meditation is also thought to be a route to Samadhi. I have always struggled with meditation. I try to watch my thoughts and not over attach but find I consistently get lost in the stories they tell me and begin daydreaming. Instead, for the last few months I have been practicing quiet solitude. Solitude is something I usually feel deprived of in our busy world. However, when I do get time alone, I become uncomfortable and begin to seek out friends, social media, Netflix and exercise. Anything to avoid being left in silence with myself. Since Covid restrictions have lifted it has been amazing to be so free to be out in the world with family and friends again, but I have noticed that I can easily burnout and need to carve out alone time.
I really like this article: Frontiers | What Time Alone Offers: Narratives of Solitude From Adolescence to Older Adulthood | Psychology (frontiersin.org)
The article breaks down really well the difference between solitude which is self-determined and loneliness which is a feeling of isolation regardless of whether you are alone or not. It also breaks down the inward focused and outward focused themes around solitude from adolescence to the elderly. Here is an excerpt from the study which I think captures the idea of solitude:
‘Although psychological need satisfaction has not been studied in the context of solitude, it is reasonable to assume that one could feel more or less psychologically need-satisfied when alone. For example, when alone one may feel free to be oneself and undertake tasks deemed interesting or important. This autonomy satisfaction in solitude can be distinguished from self-determined motivation for solitude, which concerns one’s choice to volitionally enter into solitude; arguably, both are important (Weinstein et al., in press).’
Solitude has helped me to venture inwards and these are some examples of how I practice solitude:
-Getting up at 05.30am before the rest of my household wakes up. I journal, practice yoga asanas or pranayama. Sometimes I just have a cup of tea and daydream.
-One evening a week to myself where I don’t watch TV, scroll on social media or exercise. I usually try to find a hobby to practice or write a blog!
-Sea swimming, the colder the better.
-Walking, preferably on a beach or in the woods.
-Play piano.
-Long drives and singing loudly. I’m lucky that I have a 30 min commute in the car alone!
-Last week I tried a salt float. Floating fully supported in super saturated salt water, in darkness and silence to reduce sensory stimulation. I would highly recommend it and am going back tomorrow for another try!
-Get creative by sketching and painting.
-Have a bath with my favourite Spotify playlist.
Solitude has been inspirational for famous creatives such as Frida Kahlo or Vincent Van Gogh. We don’t need to create a Van Gogh or win a Booker prize to reap the benefits of the sense of wellbeing that comes with time spent alone.
Resources:
-Threads of Yoga - Themes, Reflections, and Meditations to weave into your practice. Pamela Seeling.
